Hard Work Pays Off Takes on a Whole New Meaning
Historically, in our society’s egotistical construct, we as humans have neglected our own feelings and instead turned toward the perceivably shiny objects which can be attained through working hard to earn more money and material things. We learned that hard work pays off so we can accomplish things and look good in the eyes of others. But is it worth it to work so hard at the expense of ourselves?
This mindset of honoring achievement, attainment and recognition is engrained in our human conditioning and it’s archaic. It is based on the self-perception that you need others to validate that you are loved and you are enough. But, this is a lie. All that stuff and all that hard work at your job won’t get you the validation you think you need. Nor will it make you happy.
Happiness can be found within, but guess what, it takes hard work on none other than you…by you…for you. Many people may not know that the self-work I am referring to is not the physical body (though that is a major factor of a healthy well-being). It’s the journey inside yourself to places you never knew existed. Aspects internally where you uncover truths about yourself, acknowledge feelings you had squelched, and accept root causes of unbecoming behaviors or negative self-beliefs.
Self-work is like an onion with layers waiting to be peeled away to reveal what lies beneath. We are complex creatures, not just our biology, but our souls are highly complex. They carry the truth of our essence and each one of us is unique. This kind of hard work is about making the time and creating the space to connect with your own soul. You cannot get to this point by focusing on the external world.
Self-work has profoundly transformed my life in the last few years and it did not come easy. I experienced a lot of pain, at times felt isolated and said goodbye to the only parts of me that I ever knew. In hindsight this was so meaningful because it created more space for new parts of me to shine. No one who has embarked on an inner journey and transformed their outer human experience goes unscathed from the pain. It’s all a part of the process.
Whether you’re on your journey now, you’ve been thinking about embarking on the journey, or this article sparks curiosity in your core, know this:
YOU HAVE TO SACRIFICE THAT WHICH KEEPS YOU FROM DOING THE WORK
I know what it’s like to go from spending time doing the things that serve to distract you to looking at yourself, fully. I hear you and I see you. Just understand that it’s by design, and outsmart it. Take your time and energy into your own hands.
For me this meant giving up that glass of wine every night. No more Netflix before bed, that became time for self-reflection through reading and journaling. No more sleeping until 6am, I set my alarm for 5am every day so I could meditate, say my affirmations and set my intentions for the day ahead. I stopped attending many evening functions where I knew there would be alcohol because I didn’t want to spend my time that way, then tired and disassociated from myself the next day.
It’s no easy feat, but in order to live a better life you have to sacrifice that which keeps you from doing the work.
“We learned that hard work pays off so we can accomplish things and look good in the eyes of others. But is it worth it to work so hard at the expense of yourself?”
THE QUIET DISTRACTION OF SCROLLING IS HOLDING YOU BACK FROM GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES
Why is it so much easier to scroll through your phone or to do those mundane tasks that you know are petty distractions? Because the distractions are your wounded ego keeping you small. This is the part of you that lives in a box and is fearful of what’s outside the box. It’s the part that’s terrified of change.
Our culture is one where people have resigned to pleasing others and exemplifying supposed success. This is the “look at me” life that social media has played out oh so well. And, it has succeeded in exactly what it set out to do. The goal of social media is to keep you so engrossed in the glory moments of others that you are not able to focus on you. Sometimes, and this sadly is what teenagers now live with, you are so full of anxiety from comparing your life with those on your phone that you feel worthless and depressed. It makes it that much harder to get out of that downward spiral into a mindset where you can focus on you.
Putting off your curiosity about your true self and stunting your growth is surely not your plan.
YOUR COMFORT ZONE IS NOT WHERE YOU FIND NOR DEVELOP YOUR GREATNESS
You are limiting yourself by not opening up to the possibility of being uncomfortable. Sure that zone of discomfort will be difficult, and it will also be great. Would you rather live your life as ‘fine’ knowing that you’ll never reach great? Or take action toward greatness? Think about it. Yes, it’s the hardest work you will ever do, to sit with yourself. To be still and silent and see what comes up. To listen to the self-sabotage, the negative chatter in your head. To hear a battle between tasks on the to do list. To then hear a voice from your past tell you you’re not good enough. To then picture the bully from seventh grade mocking you. Or some of the other traumatic moments from your past. This is the sort of stuff that comes up when we go inward, especially in the beginning. But you have to start somewhere because in order to be great and to actualize your potential, you first have to face what’s been weighing you down.
With self-work comes clarity and the ability to see the world around us from a new perspective. We start to recognize the patterns that are playing out in our lives and can then take control to shift away from harmful patterns into the present moment. We can see the relationships and activities that no longer serve us and do something about it. Most importantly, we can choose to live from a place of love and compassion rather than protection and ignorance. This will not only change your life in profound ways that you will only know when you know, it will change the lives of those closest to you. This is the real reward and how hard work truly pays off.
